I knew it would happen. So often, so so often poly literature, advice and the general rules of sanity advise against starting more than one new relationship at a time. See ‘kid in a candy store’ info here (Section 3 of Practical Polyamory).
I have reached polysaturation (via Modern Poly).
As well as my main partner, my other male partner and the triad of awesomeness I am also seeing two other women – one of whom is introducing me to her male primary this week as she thinks we’ll hit it off. I know. I am INSANE.
I did not want it to be this way but I’ve made my sordid sex festival bed (tent? yurt?) and now I’ve got to fuck/sleep on it/in it. I didn’t seek out to accrue as many partners as possible, it just sort of happened. And now they’re here, in my life, and I like them and I don’t want to not see people simply because I don’t have time. That seems cruel and unnecessary to me.
I am also aware that my main relationships, the three most important to me, need time and care and attention (not to mention that I want to see these people A Whole Lot) and I’d kick myself if I neglected them. And the newer people and I need time and space and effort to get to get to know one another. And I only have so much free time. And money. On average I work a 50 hour week and I don’t earn a huge amount, so I have to ration money spent on travelling to see people/eating out/visiting galleries etc too. It feels like such an impossible situation to manage.
On top of that, as several people have mentioned, I need some damn me-time or my head truly will explode. 20 mins after a 12 hour work day or a nap on a train doesn’t count. True to form I didn’t even consider me-time, because I am an idiot. Also, I’m crap at self-care.
So, my current solution: I don’t want to lose anyone so I’m going to try being organised. More organised than normal. Super organised. I’m going to prioritise my three main relationships, see them most frequently and see my other dates when time and scheduling allows. I’ll be open to everyone about my scheduling issues and make sure they know where they stand. And if this doesn’t work I’ll build a time machine.